Arm's Length
by thepapayagirl
Summary: Tears fall, and they fall because she loves him; sometimes she wishes that she had left when she was meant to, just so he could find her and her and hold her and, at long last, know. Oneshot, GravediggerOriented


Thai food. It had become a holding point of their friendship over the last few years; they made up over Thai food, they numbed their pain over Thai food and they let themselves go over Thai food.

They were letting themselves go tonight.

Brenna had just stopped laughing at some inane joke of Booth's and a comfortable silence had fallen over the room, the ticking of a faraway clock the only sound to be heard.

"Bones?" said Booth tentatively, a contemplative look crossing his face.

"Hmm?" she replied absently. She selected a prawn cracker, inspected it momentarily and bit into it with a satisfying crunch.

"What did your note say?"

"Note? What note?" she asked, allowing a hint of laughter to enter her voice, although the true emotion colouring her thoughts was fear. Fear and desperation at the memories of the last significant note she had written, and also at the inevitable lie that would soon escape her lips.

"Your goodbye note. When the Gravedigger took you. Hodgins mentioned that you wrote one. To me," he explained, looking almost embarrassed to ask.

"It was was a goodbye note, Booth; I said goodbye," she answered, a little too quickly and a little too sarcastically for it to be the truth. Booth raised an eyebrow at her flustered expression, silently prompting her to revise her statement.

"I said goodbye. And... you know, nice knowing you. I told you we made great partners - which we do. I just... said goodbye. I said goodbye, Booth," she insisted, looking down at the floor, the remainder of the prawn cracker crushed in her fist as she lied to her partner's face. Hot tears sprang to her eyes at the memory of that wretched feeling of knowing that if she didn't get herself out of her underground prison, nobody else could. The cold emptiness of truly believing that she would never again see those she loved.

"Shh, Bones... I didn't mean to upset you, " he promised, scooting over to wrap his arms around in one of their rare 'guy hugs'. She hiccuped weakly and relaxed into him, eventually letting her mind take her back to the deathly darkness of her twelve hours of hell.

-x-

Her brain went into overdrive as Hodgin's handed her the book. Her brain, capable of discerning age, sex and race from a mangled pile of burnt remains, able to comprehend even the most complicated of mathematical equations, went into overdrive as she wondered what on earth she could possible say to a man so incredibly important to her to ease the blow of her death.

She winced inwardly as she tore a page from her book; it seemed symbolic, she thought. Hodgins offered her a pen from the handful that lay beside him on the backseat. She took the one with blue ink, the one advertising some easily forgettable building company that she'd never done any business with. Making sure the book was closed tightly so as to prevent the bloodied scrap of bumper sticker from escaping its pages, she smoothed out the torn page onto the back cover and began to write.

_Booth,_

_As my partner, you have been everything I could ever ask for - and more. We've had some good times and some bad times, but this is the end._

No, too blunt for Booth. She scratched out the last word and replaced it with a decidedly more poetic '_where the journey ends_'.

_I hope you don't miss me; grief is irrational and it won't bring us back. That is, if you ever even find us, which is unlikely given the circumstances. My point is, I have had a lot of fun with you and we made an undeniably brilliant team. You have a become a part of my life, but you know it is against what I believe in to think that that part of you will die with me, which is we both know is physically impossible._

_Goodbye, Booth. Best wishes for the future,_

_Temperance Brennan_

She reread the whole thing, tears clouding her vision as she felt the coldness and impersonality of her words practically radiating off the page. For once in her life, she made a rash decision; she took up the pen, scribbled out every word of her final goodbye, and wrote instead '_I love you_'.

She signed her name with a quivering hand: _Bones_.

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**Hey. :)**

**Another semi-angsty Bones oneshot for me to vent on... reviews are love. ^^**


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